If you are between 8 and 108 years old and like to read middle grade books, then you are especially welcome here!

Celebrate the ugly!

Posted: December 13th, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: , | No Comments »

Ugly holiday sweaters are getting uglier. And bringing more joy to the season than ever. Don we now our ugly apparel, fa la la, la la la, la la la!

Image found at Target

Image found at Amazon

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A new war on Christmas

Posted: December 7th, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: , , , , , , | No Comments »

George from Portland, OR writes:

Dear T,

I have a new holiday story to tell. It’s Rude-olph, the Rudest Reindeer. Forget about Rudolph. Rude-olph could chew him up for breakfast and spit him out at lunch. He’ll tell you you’re really smart…on Opposites Day. P.S. It’s only ten dollars. How many can I put you down for?

T replies:

Hey, George! The holidays are not a time for disrespect and bad manners. And charging ten dollars for this story is nine dollars too many. All I can say is that I hope Rude-olph learns to overcome his rudeness and is able to join in the festivities in a considerate and neighborly manner.

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Bunny bling

Posted: April 3rd, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: , | No Comments »

Presenting the world’s most expensive chocolate bunny! It can be yours, if around $50,000 is in your chocolate-bunny-buying price range. Made from super-fancy Tanzania Origin chocolate, this rarefied rabbit is fifteen inches tall and features gold-leaf Easter eggs and 1.7 carat solitaire diamond eyes. Feast your eyes, if not your taste buds, on this brilliant bun-bun!

 

As for me, my price range and common sense leads to this old favorite. BBE’s eyes aren’t diamonds, but they’re so much cuter.

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Holiday blessings

Posted: December 25th, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: , | No Comments »

Share the love.

Spread the wealth.

Keep on truckin’.

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Yes to the Yeti!

Posted: April 22nd, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: , , , , | No Comments »

Keylan and Jake from Long Beach, CA write:

Dear T,

We are not interested in stories about vampires. We don’t care about werewolves, either. Or ghosts. And especially not mermaids! What we ARE interested in is the Yeti or Abominable Snowman. Here is a story we’ve written about the mighty Yeti called SNOBEAST. We both worked on the cover drawing. Those are the Himalaya mountains in the back. What do you think?

T replies:

Thanks for letting me read your Yeti story, Keylan and Jake! SNOBEAST sent chills of terror and excitement up and down my spine. I have long been fascinated by tales of the Yeti. I’m a believer!

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A brush with danger

Posted: October 19th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: , , , | No Comments »

George from Portland, OR writes:

Dear T,

Everyone has gotten a good scare with my Halloween stories The Evil Lightbulb and Organ-ic Blood Orange. Well, this year’s story is even more frightening. It’s about a toothbrush that comes to life on Halloween night with a sinister mission—to keep brushing and brushing and brushing. It doesn’t stop brushing until it’s brushed your head right off. Ha ha! What do you think of that?

P.S. Since I charged ten dollars for last year’s story, my mom made me give this one away for free. All the copies are already gone.

T replies:

What can I say, George? You’ve done it again. Another ordinary household item is now scaring me out of my wits, thanks to your lurid imagination. Needless to say I will NOT be brushing my teeth this Halloween night. I’ll just have to brush TWICE the next morning.

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The war on Christmas

Posted: December 7th, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: , , , , , , | No Comments »

George from Portland, OR writes:

Dear T,

I am back with another holiday story. This time it is Randolph, the Red-Toed Reindeer. He is the newest most famous reindeer at the North Pole. Obviously, having four red feet beats Rudolph’s one red nose. So the two reindeers go at it in a battle to see who gets to lead Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve. Only one reindeer can win! Can you guess which one it is?

T replies:

Well, you’ve done it again, George. You’ve managed to bring a violent altercation to a peaceful holiday season. All I can say is I hope Randolph and Rudolph make friends and lead Santa’s sleigh side by side!

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Fruit fright

Posted: October 23rd, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: , , , | 3 Comments »

George from Portland, OR writes:

Dear T,

You might remember my Halloween story last year, The Evil Lightbulb, because it probably scared you to pieces. Well, this year I have written a story about a homicidal organic blood orange. It sits innocently in the bin at the Farmer’s Market until someone foolishly buys it. When they take it home and cut it into slices, it gushes blood and doesn’t stop until everyone drowns in it. Here’s the cover I made for it.

P.S. I’m charging ten dollars for my story this year, as you can see by the cover.

T replies:

Hey, George. Happy Halloween, a week early. You really got me with this scary orange. I always thought fruits were nice and vegetables weren’t. Where did I get that idea?

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Griffin’s Gold

Posted: February 9th, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: , , , , | No Comments »

Sam and Andy from Chicago, IL write:

Dear T,

We finished Griffin’s Gold, our story about the legendary Griffin, and we printed copies. Here’s one for you. You can share this excerpt. It’s from the part where Griffin and Dragon fight to the death for Griffin’s gold, only Griffin lets Dragon live to see another day. That’s good because later on they have to join forces to battle an evil Giant. What do you think?

Drawing of a Griffin by Sam and Andy

Drawing of a Griffin by Sam and Andy

From Griffin’s Gold by Sam and Andy:

Griffin and Dragon were face to face with each other. Warily they circled each other. Griffin twitched his wings in eager anticipation of the battle to come, while Dragon snorted plumes of smoke into the chilly air.

Despite the cozy fire he had built, Griffin’s lair was almost as cold as the frozen mountaintop. Dragon lifted his mighty tail and slammed it down hard, pounding the rocky ground. The metallic scales of his impenetrable body armor glistened in the fire’s glow.

“Give me your treasure,” he told Griffin, “and you can avoid a good beating.”

Griffin’s razor-sharp claws drew sparks from where they scraped the rock. “It’s you who are going to get beaten, Dragon,” he replied. “I’ll give you ten seconds to skedaddle on out of here. Otherwise, you’re in for it big time.”

“I ain’t leaving here without that gold,” said Dragon.

“Suit yourself,” said Griffin and lunged at Dragon’s vulnerable throat with his fearsome eagle’s beak. The battle for Griffin’s gold had begun.

T replies:

Wow, Sam and Andy! I am thoroughly impressed. The adventure was gripping, the suspense was unbearable, and I don’t want to spoil the ending, but I can say that Griffin and Dragon are a force to be reckoned with. Great job!

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Yadiloh greetings!

Posted: December 9th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment »

Dan’s Mom writes:

Dear T,

I would like to tell you about a fabulous new holiday celebration. It’s called Yadiloh, the Festival of Brooms and Mice, and it happens on the second Sunday of December, right before the traditional holidays begin. I had an artist friend of mine make up a card for it.

Yadiloh begins early in the morning as each and every kid in the family sweeps (or vacuums) their room and then cleans the whole house. Then, in the spirit of Yadiloh fun, they hide the broom (or vacuum).

After that, for even more fun, they sit quietly together and draw a picture of an adorable mouse. The fun doesn’t stop there! At this point, Mom or Dad takes on the role of Atnas, the Yadiloh Broom Finder. Atnas asks the kids (the Mice) where the broom (or vacuum) is. They tell him (or her), and then go outside to quietly play while Atnas takes a much-deserved Yadiloh nap.

Let’s get cracking and help make Yadiloh a part of every family’s holiday tradition! Here are a couple of rousing Yadiloh carols to get everyone in the mood.

Oh, Yadiloh!

(Sung to the tune of Oh, Tannenbaum)

Oh, Yadiloh! Oh, Yadiloh!

My favorite time of year.

Oh, Yadiloh! Oh, Yadiloh!

I’m glad you’re finally here.

I cleaned my room

and swept the house,

then hid the broom

and drew a mouse.

Oh, Yadiloh! Oh, Yadiloh!

You fill us all with cheer.

And:

Here Comes Atnas

(Sung to the tune of Here Comes Santa)

Here comes Atnas, here comes Atnas,

looking for the broom.

Here comes Atnas, here comes Atnas,

checking every room.

Searching twice and asking mice for any little clue,

Atnas knows a broom hunt is the funnest thing to do!

T replies:

Hey, Dan’s Mom. Yadiloh sounds like a real hoot, but if I didn’t know better, I’d think you made it up to get Dan to clean the house before the regular holidays begin. If so, you get credit for a very crafty plan. Let’s see if Dan (or anyone else) falls for it!

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